My husband

If you decribed my husband to me 10 years ago, I would have said you're crazy. He is the opposite of everything I thought I wanted, plus his history I viewed as "baggage." After some major heartbreak, I didn't even want to think about a relationship. So when I met him, I saw it as just something to pass the time and didn't think it would be anything serious at all. I decided what the hell, if what I have tried so far has only ended in pain, then the opposite should be different.

To start, he was bigger than I would typically go for. I know petty but once we women get our "type" stuck in our head, its hard to get it out. He was recently divorced, and had a child with a previous girlfriend. More drama than I was interested in but at the time, I didn't think it was going anywhere. Things just kinda took their own course, and we just let the relationship progress naturally. We never had the "relationship" talk, where are we going? What do we want out of this? Never labeled it. It all seemed to just go, with neither of us second guessing what we were, what we wanted.

First big step, first "I love you." He had to be at work early in the morning, and I was still in bed. He leaned over to kiss me goodbye, and half asleep I said "I love you." Without hestitation at all, he said it back. Later, like most people would, I wondered if he said it out of obligation or if he meant it. I tend to over analized things like you wouldn't believe. (as you will see) I had just gotten back to my parents house when I called to see how his day was going. He had a tone in his voice that told me something wasn't right. He said "I have something I need to tell you but I don't know how to say it." My heart sank and felt like it was about to break. He proceeded, "I'm just going to come out and say it. I love you." Relief swept over me. I hadn't really realized what I felt for him until I thought he was going to break my heart.

There have been many times that I have second-guessed our relationship and his commitment to me. His flirtatous personality is more than I can bare sometimes. There have also been a couple times that I have seriously doubted his faithfulness. But we have worked through it all and I won't be putting those details on here.

We have been together over 8 years. Married for just a few. Recently bought our first home. It is easier for me to consider starting a family but I am still scared and don't think I'm ready. My husband has been ready since we started dating but has been patient and come to realize why I've wanted to wait. I want to wait until we were comfortable with each other and had a secure roof over our heads. I know its never the perfect time but you know when its not the right time.